Celebrating the Life and Legacy of Veronica Bender: A True Midwestern Matriarch

In December of 2023, we had the privilege of interviewing Veronica Bender (August 25, 1928 - April 26, 2025) for a Legacy Film. She shared about her life growing up in South Dakota, meeting her husband Jake, running grocery stores, and raising a family. Known as "Grandma B" to her 38 grandchildren and great-grandchildren, she's leaving behind quite the legacy. Here is a summary of her life and a link to her Legacy Film. Rest in Peace, Veronica!

Veronica Bender's full Legacy Film.

Veronica Bender was born on August 25, 1928 in South Dakota. She was one of 11 children and her parents were German immigrants who spoke no English. She lived on a farm that had no electricity or running water, and she said it was a lot of hard work. She remembered tending to the garden and animals. She walked to school each day and sometimes had to carry water to school, which they received $1 each week.

When Veronica got older, she got a job at the grocery store in town. She worked in produce, was a checker, and even did some book work, something that she will find herself doing for the rest of her life. This is also where she met Jake Bender, who would become her husband. Jake was German, very likable, and had a nice family. She recalled how he would give her rides home from work and how they went to dances together. They dated for one year before getting married. They had a great relationship but there was minor "issue" - he was Baptist and she was Catholic. She said this was hard for the families but she and Jake didn't mind. Since they were from different religions, they had to get married in a parish house and not a church. After the ceremony, they had lunch at her parents' house. She said a neighbor made an angel food cake and her Dad made his homemade wine. People played music, sang, and danced. When the night was over, she and Jake stayed the night upstairs at her parents' house.

Once they were married, Veronica and Jake continued to work at the local grocery store. In 1951, they had their first child, a girl. They would have six children total! Jake was then approached to manage a new grocery store, which he accepted. This was the start of a very long career managing grocery stores! While Jake was managing grocery stores, Veronica was doing the bookkeeping and they made a great team. As the years went by, Jake was approached about managing a National Tea grocery store in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

While telling her life story, Veronica noted how one decision they made really changed the course of their lives. Jake was approached about managing one of two grocery stores: one in Huron, South Dakota, where a store manager was supposedly getting ready to retire, or a new store in Dubuque, Iowa. Dubuque was pretty far from Sioux Falls, so they opted for the Huron store. They made all of the arrangements to move to Huron, selling their home in Sioux Falls and purchasing a new one in Huron. When it came time to move, however, Jake pulled the plug. He said they shouldn't move to Huron because he didn't think the current manager at the store would ever retire. Instead, they decided to move to Dubuque, Iowa. They were able to stay in Sioux Falls so Veronica could deliver a baby boy. Then, they made the move to Iowa!

Veronica recalled that the Dubuque community didn't fully embrace them at first. One of the biggest contentions was that they decided to keep their store open on Sundays, which was a big no-no in very Catholic Dubuque. She said the Women's Club criticized that decision and also scrutinized the magazines they sold at the store. In time, the community came around. Veronica did all of the bookkeeping for the store, and all of their kids worked there when they got old enough. It was a real family endeavor! Veronica also spoke very highly of the store's owner, Mr. Randall. She said he was very generous to them, giving great bonuses and taking them on trips on his private plane.

As if Veronica wasn't busy enough, she still found time to sew original clothes and dresses for her daughters and nieces. She made a lot of bridesmaids dresses too! The family took trips across the country in their big station wagon, going to Disney World, Washington DC, and New York City. They also enjoyed a cabin on the Mississippi River on the weekends and went boating.

Veronica lived a very full life until her passing at the age of 96. She was living independently, still driving to see her friends and play cards, and keeping up with her large family. She loved to travel and still went on trips with the family, where she was always one of the last ones to go to sleep each night. When reflecting on her life and the family she built, she was very humble and said all she could do was teach her kids right from wrong by example. She also reflected on the importance of making the right decisions for your family, like their decision to move to Dubuque. Veronica will be greatly missed by all of her family and friends. Rest in Peace!